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My Son Teaches Me about Professional Communication

By , on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

One of my favorite things to do with my kids while my wife is at work is to take walks around the neighborhood. We usually have a destination, but if the weather is especially nice and we’re having a good time, I won’t exactly rush home.

Recently, we were on just such a walk on a very mild summer afternoon. My son was sipping on a cold chocolate milk and asking all sorts of questions about the various cars and houses we passed as we walked. It wasn’t until we were getting close to home that we happened upon this, sitting in the grass near the street:

The Beat-Up Cone

“Daddy, what’s that?”

“Looks like an old, beat-up traffic cone to me, buddy.”

…walking for a couple more minutes…

“Daddy, what do you mean ‘beat-up’?”

Clearly, when I said “beat-up”, I was trying to, as succinctly as possible, describe the cone has old, worn down, falling apart, etc. Just about any adult I can think of (that I know) would be pretty clear about what I was trying to say. At least, that’s my assumption.

It’s that assumption that brought about a 5-minute discussion about, exactly, what I meant by “beat-up” with my son. After trying my damndest to explain, I think he ultimately got what I was trying to say. If I’d chosen my words a little more carefully then perhaps a whole bunch of confusion could’ve been avoided.

So what the hell does this have to do with communication in the workplace? I know that, for me, I have a tendency to speak to other people as though I’m speaking to myself (and vice versa). If I walk up to a graphic designer and start talking about high order functions and abstract classes, I’m probably going to met with a blank stare – the same type of blank stare you’ll find spread across my mug when the same designer starts talking about things like “kerning”.

The point I’m trying to make is that, when speaking to somebody – especially at work – consider your audience. Workplace communication usually sucks anyway, so anything you can do to improve the situation will be met with smiling bosses.

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  • Jared

    I've never really thought about that. It's great advise. Who knew a two-year-old could teach you so much?

  • brianogilvie

    It sounds to me like you got a great opportunity to teach your son about the world–that there are things that get beat up, and that if an adult uses a term or concept that doesn't make sense to him, with some explanation he can come to grasp it. I don't see what the problem is. What words might you have chosen that would not have led him to ask what exactly you meant?

  • http://biz.blox.pl TesTeq

    But if you use only your listener's vocabulary he will not be able to learn new words.

  • http://enjoyparenting.blogspot.com Michael@Awareness * Connection

    I enjoy these moments you share about you and your son. Good observation too about the workplace tie in. Seems related also to expertitis, not being able to imagine what it was like before you had mastered x skill or piece of knowledge. Thinking about your audience, I think, is underrated and can help a great deal in life, both in work and in interpersonal relationships. I was just posting today about what it is like for kids to hear the commands and requests we pummel them with all day long. We have to guide them, but considering it from their perspective can make a big difference in how we approach it.

  • http://www.gedys-intraware.co.uk/m02-gedys-7/workflow/ Lotus Notes

    Amusing articale with different.It's really so funny…But one thing i belive that there is no shame to learn wheather the larner is younger or elder…THanks for sharing….

  • http://www.allbusiness.com/sales/customer-service/10783-1.html Glenn

    This reminds me of two quotes: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” I interpret Stephen Covey's quote here to mean that you must first listen. While you're doing that determine which part of your vocabulary to use when communicating with the other person.

    The second quote is, “Listen with the intent to understand, not to argue.” I interpret this quote by Dale Carnegie to mean several things. First, that you should try to understand the other person's point of view. Second, don't take it personally, take the comments professionally. Respond professionally.

    Keep the stories coming. They're great.

  • http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/beaches/surfing-at-playa-azul-michoacan.html Playa Azul Michoacan

    You have a very interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope you enjoy more walks with your son :)
    -M from Mexico

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