Twitter. Oh, Twitter.
You enticed me with your bubbly logo and simple interface. You wined and dined me with your promises of increased communication and the constant knowledge of the whereabouts and doings of my friends and cohorts. You took the Internet by storm and made us all believe you were the next plateau in digital interaction. But alas, your sweet words were poisoned with lies…
With a heart filled with hope and excitement, I dove into your pools of simplicity with eyes wide shut. The fleeting moments of joy you brought were quickly quashed by the hours spent staring longingly at “Waiting for http://twitter.com…” and brightly-hued reports of the outage of one of your many facets.
When my soul’s lone desire was to simply know what Michael was eating for lunch, you denied me.
When all I wanted was to know if Leo had finished his video shoot, you denied me.
When my whole self yearned to see Twitteroo sparkle brightly from my system tray with joyful tidings, you denied me.
With all this, my Twitter, I deny you. I send you floating from my sight, from my psyche. Your existence is but a memory, the single tear long fallen from my jaw, all but forgotten. Your bitter fallibility shall find me cursed no more.
Goodbye, my soured Twitter, Goodbye.
Written by Brett Kelly
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