The Cranking Widgets Blog

(Note: This is something I wrote awhile back for my personal blog that I thought you folks might enjoy and perhaps find somewhat useful. So, if you feel like you’ve read this before, that’s probably why )

At some point most contemporary lives, most everybody enterains the notion of getting a tattoo. The social stigma that they garnered in the early-mid 20th century has faded dramatically, so a greater number of people have started warming up to the idea. Let’s say you’ve decided to take the plunge, what now? Here’s a list of tips and hints that should make your first tattoo experience easier…

Before You Go to the Shop:

Decide on a design beforehand

Or, at least have an idea. Showing up at the shop having no idea what you want is just a waste of everyone’s time – and is probably a strong indicator that you shouldn’t be getting a tattoo at all. If you have a general idea about what you want, most artists will happily help you fine-tune the design to your liking. On the other hand, nothing will piss a tattoo artist off faster than somebody who is all wishy-washy about their design, and keeps scrapping the artists drawings. If you know exactly what you want, the best thing you can do is show up with a printed picture that they can turn into a stencil and go to work.

Shop different artists/shops before going through with it

All tattoo artists are not created equal. Finding a good tattoo artist is not a matter of looking in the phone book. The best way to find an artist is to just go into nearby shops and look around. Almost every artist will have “their book” of pictures of tattoos they’ve done, and they’re probably very accessible, usually at the front counter. Also beware that artists will excel at different styles. Some are good at portraits, some at “traditional” style tattoos, etc. Try to find an artist that seems to fit the design you’re after.

A note on going to the artists’ home: Don’t do it. They’re tattooing out of their house for a reason, and it’s usually because they can’t get a job at a shop, or they’re just starting out. Even though they’re willing to do your Swan for $20 and a 6-pack, don’t do it. Seriously. Just bite the bullet and go to a legit tattoo parlor.

Regarding Price

Tattoos aren’t cheap. If you go to a halfway reputable shop, you can expect to pay something around $100 per hour, usually with a $50-$60 shop minimum. The artist will quote you a price before he starts working on you, so make sure you have enough cash to cover it (as well as some extra – see “Tip the Artist” below). I’ve never tried to haggle a price, so I don’t know if they’re willing to wheel-and-deal, but I’d have to guess that they’re probably going to be firm on the quoted price.

On Your Way to/At the Shop:

Make sure your schedule is flexible

If you have an appointment, get there on time and expect to wait. Tattoos regularly take longer than originally estimated, so don’t be suprised if your 2:30 appointment ends up being more like 3-3:30. The shop will have all sorts of magazines and flash art to look at, or bring a book or a friend or something. Just don’t bitch about how long you have to wait, chances are he’s doing his best to get the other dude out the door and you in the chair.

If you’re a walk-in, then you need to be ready to wait for a considerable amount of time – possibly an hour or more – until an artist becomes available. You’re almost always better off making an appointment.

Don’t drink or take aspirin/pain medication

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people talk about “getting totally loaded” and heading to the tattoo shop. I’ve got news for you – the alcohol (or aspirin) may dull the pain slightly, but your artist won’t be to thrilled when you start bleeding all over the place. Alcohol and painkillers thin your blood, which (*dong*) makes you bleed more. Having to wipe the blood off of your skin every 10 seconds will just irritate the artist, as well as your freshly wounded flesh.

For Pete’s sake, eat something

The fear of the unknown is a powerful thing, especially when you’re darkening the door of a tattoo shop for your first. You’re very liable to get nervous and people regularly pass out in the chair (because they’re expecting it to be the worst pain they’ve ever felt). A good way to combat this is to eat before you go. Avoid spicy foods that will make you gassy or require multiple trips to the can, but be sure to get a meal in you.

During the “Procedure”

About the pain

This is usually the number-one concern for most first timers, so I’ll try to be thorough. For those of you who haven’t already figured this part out. tattoos hurt. There’s no two ways about it, they hurt – some of them hurt a hell of a lot. If you can’t deal with pain, then don’t do it.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, some tips on coping with the pain. Depending on the physical location of your tattoo, you could very well be sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable position; in those cases, I’ve found it best to simply grab a paper towel or something to squeeze. If you want (and the shop allows it) you can bring a companion along to keep you company – just make sure they stay out of the artists way – which can be a good distraction. But, above everything else, don’t verbally whine about how much it hurts. The artist knows it hurts and probably isn’t taking pleasure in your pain. Letting out a little yelp or verbal grimace every now and again is fine, but don’t make a 3-act play out of it.

It’s been my experience that there are three stages of pain while getting a tattoo. They are:

1. Initial Shock – just like it sounds, this is the fairly intense stinging pain that catches you sorta off guard. This will transition to #2 somewhat quickly, about 20 minutes.

2. Numb and Stung – the longest of the three, this is the part where you’ve adjusted to the pain you’re in and the area has started to numb (slightly). Don’t misunderstand me, it still hurts, but psychologically you now know what it’s like, so the shock has worn off. Expect this to last at least an hour.

3. “Ok, I’m Over This” – as you near the end (assuming the tattoo will only take a couple hours – if not, assume everything after 1.5-2 hours will be like this), you’re going to start getting more and more irritated that the tattoo isn’t finished yet. The pain will probably increase because of this change in disposition (and because the artist will probably be shading now – arguably the more painful than the outline). Hang in there, chances are you’re going to be done soon (or at least past the halfway mark).

Do what the artist tells you

You want your tattoo artist to have optimal working conditions. If that means you have to sit backwards on a chair 5 feet off of the ground with your head down, so be it. You want your tattoo too look good forever more than you want to be comfortable during it’s application – trust me.

Hold Still

If you move, it’s going to screw the artist up, so don’t move.

Don’t expect to be coddled

Most artists are sensitive to the pain they’re inflicting and will probably check in with you ever few minutes to make sure you’re alright. If you need a break to use the can or something, ask for one, he/she will more than likely oblige you.

Two things you should really not do is repeatedly ask to see the tattoo in progress (assuming it’s on your back or something) and ask how much longer it’s going to take. All you’re doing is making it take longer and probably annoying the artist.

Aftermath

Tip the Artist

This is another little-known fact about tattoo artists. They like to be tipped. 10%-20% is usually pretty standard, or more if you have the cash and feel like they did an especially good job. The great thing about tipping a tattoo artist is that, if you go back to the same artist, a fair amount of the time his hourly rate will magically decrease. Scratch his back, and he’ll probably scratch yours.

Follow the Artists instructions for care

Tattoos require a fair amount of maintenance in the first few days after you get them. Most shops will give you a written or verbal instructions on how to care for your new tattoo. They’re not just blowing smoke, so listen to (and do) what they say.

Well, there you have it. Hopefully this sheds a little light on the tattoo experience.

(If you’re curious, you can view a partial photo album of my tattoos)

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